Written in collaboration with Kara Grant, LPC-S, SEP
We all react to trauma in different ways—there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to think, feel, and/or respond. Start by recognizing that what you went through was distressing and scary, and that you’re having a normal reaction to an abnormal event.
Some things you may experience:
- intrusive thoughts about the event and/or “what ifs”
- shock, denial, confusion, hopelessness, self-blame, survivors’ guilt, fear, numbing/shut down, panic/anxiety, exhaustion
- quick to feel frustration and irritation
- brain fog, difficulty concentrating and/or focusing, making mistakes
- a disconnection from yourself (almost like you are just going through the motions)
- a desire for more control
There will be many times you may not feel like yourself—you may not be able to do things as you normally did, and it is important to know this will pass. Here are some tools you can try to show up for yourself and others through this process:
- Get moving: Engage in activities like rhythmic exercise that use both your arms and legs, such as walking and dancing; slow stretching; jumping on a trampoline; swaying side to side; rocking in a chair; and swinging on a swing.
- Connect: Seek out community; connect with friends, family, nature, and animals. Staying connected may feel challenging, especially if the desire to isolate is strong. Inviting social engagement/connection is healing even if we can’t feel it at the time.
- Routine: Maintaining your routines around meals, sleep, and exercise helps create a sense of stability and predictability which is helpful after traumatic and shocking experiences.
- Breathing: Try breathing in for a count of 4, holding your breath for a count of 2, and breathing out for a count of 6—exhaling longer than inhaling activates the part of your nervous system that helps your body calm itself.
- Grounding and orienting: Grounding involves using your 5 senses to help orient you in the present moment. A favorite grounding tool in our practice is 5-4-3-2-1:
5 things you see:
Look around your space and identify 5 things you see. It helps to be specific and identify a few details of each item you see—this makes your mind work a little harder so it doesn’t get pulled back into the anxious thoughts or spacey/disconnected state.
Example: “I see a plant with green and yellow heart-shaped, waxy leaves in a blue pot.”
4 things you feel:
This is not about what you are feeling emotionally, it is focused on physical touch. Find 4 different objects in your space. As you touch each object, name a couple of details (texture, weight, shape, temperature, etc.).
Example: “I feel a soft, squishy pillow with a rough pillowcase” or “I feel a cool, smooth, glass tabletop.”
3 things you hear:
Notice the sounds in your space. Try to see if you can hear sounds from each ear and/or sounds near and far.
Example: “I can hear cars in the distance on my left side and people talking in the next room on my right side.”
2 things you smell:
Feel free to move around the space you are in to smell things!
Example: “I smell the lavender lotion on my arm” or “I smell the coffee in my mug.”
1 thing you taste:
This might be the lingering taste of something you recently enjoyed or a cup of tea you are drinking at the moment.
For more support, you may also find the following resources helpful:
Written in collaboration with Kara Grant, LPC-S, SEP
We all react to trauma in different ways—there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to think, feel, and/or respond. Start by recognizing that what you went through was distressing and scary, and that you’re having a normal reaction to an abnormal event.
Some things you may experience:
- intrusive thoughts about the event and/or “what ifs”
- shock, denial, confusion, hopelessness, self-blame, survivors’ guilt, fear, numbing/shut down, panic/anxiety, exhaustion
- quick to feel frustration and irritation
- brain fog, difficulty concentrating and/or focusing, making mistakes
- a disconnection from yourself (almost like you are just going through the motions)
- a desire for more control
There will be many times you may not feel like yourself—you may not be able to do things as you normally did, and it is important to know this will pass. Here are some tools you can try to show up for yourself and others through this process:
- Get moving: Engage in activities like rhythmic exercise that use both your arms and legs, such as walking and dancing; slow stretching; jumping on a trampoline; swaying side to side; rocking in a chair; and swinging on a swing.
- Connect: Seek out community; connect with friends, family, nature, and animals. Staying connected may feel challenging, especially if the desire to isolate is strong. Inviting social engagement/connection is healing even if we can’t feel it at the time.
- Routine: Maintaining your routines around meals, sleep, and exercise helps create a sense of stability and predictability which is helpful after traumatic and shocking experiences.
- Breathing: Try breathing in for a count of 4, holding your breath for a count of 2, and breathing out for a count of 6—exhaling longer than inhaling activates the part of your nervous system that helps your body calm itself.
- Grounding and orienting: Grounding involves using your 5 senses to help orient you in the present moment. A favorite grounding tool in our practice is 5-4-3-2-1:
5 things you see:
Look around your space and identify 5 things you see. It helps to be specific and identify a few details of each item you see—this makes your mind work a little harder so it doesn’t get pulled back into the anxious thoughts or spacey/disconnected state.
Example: “I see a plant with green and yellow heart-shaped, waxy leaves in a blue pot.”
4 things you feel:
This is not about what you are feeling emotionally, it is focused on physical touch. Find 4 different objects in your space. As you touch each object, name a couple of details (texture, weight, shape, temperature, etc.).
Example: “I feel a soft, squishy pillow with a rough pillowcase” or “I feel a cool, smooth, glass tabletop.”
3 things you hear:
Notice the sounds in your space. Try to see if you can hear sounds from each ear and/or sounds near and far.
Example: “I can hear cars in the distance on my left side and people talking in the next room on my right side.”
2 things you smell:
Feel free to move around the space you are in to smell things!
Example: “I smell the lavender lotion on my arm” or “I smell the coffee in my mug.”
1 thing you taste:
This might be the lingering taste of something you recently enjoyed or a cup of tea you are drinking at the moment.
