Breathing. I often wonder how something seemingly so simple could be such a key piece of the puzzle when our emotions, especially anger and fear, are running away with us. Breathing is one of the first things I teach almost every client about when they are struggling with regulating their emotions. As you can see from the video above, kids take to breathing exercises just like ducks to water in most cases and breathing is not just for kids – parents can also benefit from taking a moment to let their glitter settle before responding to a particularly trying situation.
And there’s some serious science behind all this breathing business. Breathing and heart rate are intimately connected, so much so that our heart rate actually slows down when we breathe out and especially when we breathe out for longer than we breathe in. In short, when you are facing what you perceive as a threat, whether it is a screaming child or a charging rhino, the fight or flight system becomes activated. Your heart rate and breathing increase, your palms might start to feel sweaty, and your thoughts might become somewhat cloudy as the thinking part of your brain shuts off. All of these changes serve to help mobilize the body for immediate, life-saving action. However, in today’s world, many things that aren’t necessarily immediate threats to life activate the fight or flight system, such as a screaming toddler, and as I’m sure you can imagine, cloudy thoughts usually don’t make for effective and kind interventions with your daughters.
Enter breathing! While breathing certainly won’t automatically make your daughter stop tantruming in the grocery aisle or make that certain someone in your life less critical, it most certainly can give you enough time to rein in the purely emotional parts of your brain, power up the thinking part of your brain, and act with the wise, integrated parts of your brain so that you can respond in keeping with your values. Who among us couldn’t use a reset button when the going gets tough?
EXCITING HTFG UPDATE: We are pleased to announce that we will be moving into new office space starting November 1! We’ve been hard at work designing a space that will feel welcoming, comfortable, and relaxing for girls and their families and can’t wait for you to see it. Our new address will be 4200 Montrose Blvd., Suite 510, 77006.